Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I suck at this blogging thing!

Atleast I'm managing to post again before little boy blue is BORN! We've gone the past three days now with much rib kicking. Just one spot on my right rib...still not quite painful, I'm still just jumping out of my seat when he does it! Monday 9/12 was the most movement I think I've felt this whole time. There's a reason for it, but he's to remain nameless.

I've been feeling like I'm not really getting this pregnancy thing. Kinda like I'm missing out? Aside from the total lack of emotional support where it should be coming from, I know I should feel fortunate I was only sick once (I blame the fact I gorged on a shrimp tempura wasn't really sushi, but I prayed to the porcelin god), but I'm not having so many of the things most women go through or complain about. Cravings, nausea, back pain, muscle cramps, swelling, blah blah, blah.
I'm complaining about not being able to complain. I acknowledge this fact now, but I think more so I'm afraid I'm going to be broadsided by the world's worst labor & delivery to make up for it all.

It's just one more thing that makes this whole thing seem unreal. I don't feel the need to talk or sing to my belly/son/baby, I know I'm supposed to, it's kinda weird to me. I guess I thought it would help that "someone's" 3x prior experiences would help guide me through this. Don't count your chickens right... But pregnancy is also supposed to be a happy time, and I feel like I'm depressed (again?). It doesn't help I have no where to live, no space to currently call my own except my car, my personal belongings are strewn over 2 counties at 4 or 5 people's houses. The real root of my problems I'm not supposed to be discussing with anyone, but seriously, that's only making things worse. Yes, family & friends are a great support system. Aside from one person in NC, my support system is 800+ miles aways.

I'm announcing this now because I'm hoping a big deal won't be made, but I went to the ER this past Friday night/Saturday morning about 10pm. I was having really bad cramps that had steadily increased from Friday morning on. Normally I would have just blamed round ligament pain like the hospital eventually did, but this was very painful, menstrual type cramps across my entire lower abdomen, not just the sides. I got scared because of the cramping with my miscarriage, so I went in (which they always tell you to do when you're concerned, but I think the hospital just likes getting paid). They monitored his heart and that whole contraction monitor scale thing, which still wasn't explained to me, so I don't know what the numbers meant when they fluctuated between 9 & 55....??
Anywho, no meds given or anything, the nurse was concerned with somethings that point towards higher preterm labor risks, she just told me to take it easy & drink more water. Jesus, she must have been a Corpsman in the Navy, because that's the answer to every problem in life it seems. (That & Motrin, but that's Marine Corps Candy I can't have anymore...thankfully) Oh, here's some TMI for you, holy shenanigans, pregnant woman should be warned about having your cervix checked! The sweet nurse lady claimed she had smaller hands than my female doctor, but that didn't stop me from buckling up off the table. Uhm. NO! There's the end of my TMI. Thank you.

Anyway, I'm just venting because I'm feeling lost. Home, relationship, job, even lost on HOW to be pregnant. It's not supposed to be like this.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Finding out about my Christmas Present!

So now that the beans have been spilled on Facebook, I suppose this is a blog worthy topic. Even though most readers are already on FB! ;)

Starting way back, back, back....I miscarried in November, at 6 weeks(guesstimate, no idea). That was most definitely a surprise, but still a huge disappointment to lose.

The boyfriend and I talked about things after that, and I scheduled an appointment with the base Naval clinic, to see a fertility specialist. Mr. Specialist only came up from Jacksonville, NC once a month... So I very impatiently waited a month to see him. A count down widget on my phone and everything!

April 12th, 2011 was my appointment. The nurse(corpsman) did the usual blood pressure, alcohol/tobacco questions, and then of course, a whiz quiz just in case. I obliged, waited and then was shewed into a waiting room to wait for Dr. Specialist. As the corpsman took me to my room I asked her, "What did it come back?"....and she told me negative. Well okay then!

Not 2 minutes later the long awaited doctor walks in and after short introductions says: "Your corpsman lied to you."
I'm quickly confused, as I think of the staff as nurses. The only corpsman I know is my squadron corpsman Doc Lewis, who I haven't talked to for weeks.
The kind doctor explained: "You're pregnant. I guess you'll have no reason to be seeing me" and shewed me out (with some tissues) to see the OB referral officer!

So there's how I discovered this wonderful little miracle. Completely caught off guard! I have no ability to keep secrets and sent a text to "Daddy", telling him the appointment was a waste. Normally the naval doctors are unsympathetic, rude & just plain heartless. Boyfriend promptly starts apologizing and asked what happened, my response was to thank him for the Christmas present!

Now, 13 weeks along.
In case you're wondering, most of the time I'm doing just fine. Every now and again I'll get a wave of nausea... But mostly just peachy. I'm enjoying the bigger boobs (what?! I am!), and I'm regularly employing the hairband button trick on my normal jeans. 5's are still comfortably buttoned though! ;)

My days of 123-125ish lbs. are now 129-132ish lbs. 131 as of yesterday, June 23rd when I heard my little shrimp's 150bpm heart beat!

I got an ultrasound back on May 23rd, and my little gummi-bear did the cutest little shimmy-twitch while "he" was on camera! Here's one image of 3!

July 21st is my next scheduled appointment to see if I'm right about picking blue, or if Grandma is right about picking pink!